Del’s 💭

  When I look in the mirror in the morning, I see an overly tired 16 year old girl wanting to go back to bed. In the afternoon, I see a 16 year old girl who hid her tired eyes with makeup because that's what society teaches us to do. Hide the natural so you can try and look "pretty". At night, I see a 16 year old girl who got through her day and is ready to follow the same schedule tomorrow. However, when I see myself in the mirror and truly take a look I see a happy girl who just wants to smile and have fun. Others should understand I try so hard to be the happy girl but truthfully no one realizes what one goes through. No one in this society ever catches a break. If someone were to change their style, look, hair, etc, they would be "noticed". However, this "notice" is usually judgement. Everyday I sit with people at lunch and honestly the most brought up conversations have to come from judging others or sharing others secrets. When I see myself in th...

nothing in fact will be forever  forever isn’t real there is an end to everything  believe it or not it is a fact  one day you will see  something’s we want to last they won’t, you will see  that love will die out  that person will leave  leaving comes in different forms  it isn’t worth it, you will see you will get hurt  you will cry  you will see that nothing lasts.  love isn’t real we just think it is  we find an attraction and think it is needed we need no one but ourselves  we think we love them, we don’t we want to love them, we will go crazy  you will see it isn’t love and will not last  save yourself from the hurt.  you will see, you wish you had  But forever is real enough to be a thought.  forever can last  forever is hard  its going to be hard to get it to last  but if you really want something for forever  go for it  I take it back  if you work and want som...

  Yet another night the thoughts are overtaking me and I need to write everything out. This past week has been pretty rough for me mentally, but the thing is I don't really know why. I love my life and the people in it but I feel I keep falling back into not loving me again. Coming from someone who hated herself to the point she didn't even want to be a thought to anyone anymore, learning to love and find yourself is so hard and comes with many obstacles. It comes with many mind games, but you truly see how strong you are after not letting them win. By them I mean the thoughts that you do not want to be in your head. Everybody has their own story and goes through things that no one else will ever know. Unfortunately, we can never truly walk in somebody else's shoes and see what is going on in their minds. Personally, I hate this because when I try to explain how I feel, I can never truly get the full affect across. I often wonder if other people find this as frustrating as ...

  I sit in front of the plate  I stare at it’s contents  I just can’t bring myself to do it  The thought of it is nauseating  Now I’m nauseous  Now it’s worse Consumed by the standard of consumption  I still can’t do it As much as I want too As hungry as I am  As much as I NEED too, I still can not do it.    School sucked  I learned little to nothing  I can’t focus  Browser history filled with food Mukbangs, diets, foods not to eat Finally I’m home  I pass out on the couch  My mom wakes me up for dinner She made my favorite  It doesn’t matter  I don’t want to eat I know I should  Mom says I have to Anything to make it seem like I’m okay   I force the fork up to my mouth  The flavors hit my tongue  I failed, I am a failure  I finish my first plate, onto seconds  I eat until I am full, and keep going   Wow you ate so much they say My heart falls to my feet I pl...

we thought the love would last forever  we had such fun times  the car rides  singing our favorite songs  now i skip them when they come on the movies we had watched  the trips we had went on  the dinner and ice cream runs  i don’t even like ice cream  it didn’t matter though as long as i was with you  you were perfect we were perfect together until we weren’t  the phone calls for advice  i don’t even have your number anymore  the countless sleepovers  I don't even know your address anymore the tears cried on each others shoulders the experiences we went through  we were always together  what happened? as time goes by these memories fade  the thought of you fades  how i remember you  that’s not who you are anymore  i block out the bad  i don’t want those times in my head  I want none of you in my head. you were once my everything  but now you are nothing but a stranger  unf...

  forgiveness everyone messes up we’re human what do you expect?  all those “perfect” people you think of  news flash:  they aren’t perfect.  as hannah said, everyone makes mistakes she’s right.  we all mess up  we all fuck up  we all have regrets we are stuck living with  however, everything goes 50/50  yea we’re human.  yea we mess up.  but because we’re human… we’re also supposed to forgive.  forgiveness is just as easy as messing up  we choose whether to forgive people  we choose whether we want to live in misery  is holding a grudge really worth it?  you’d rather spend your time hating and holding onto something that happened how long ago?  well that’s up to you.  i’d rather live my life  i’m not saying forgive and forget  but forgiving someone is much easier than not.  forgiving could be as simple as just letting it go no words, no texts, just letting it go  not letti...

  Today was such a good day and I hope you all had one too! Now, I don't know if this is just a me thing, but I notice as the day gets later into the night, I find myself trapped in my own head and everything that I stress about but doesn't express during the day, always hits me and I just feel so drained and find myself stressing about everything I could ever imagine. I know I am a big overthinker and feel that I am so different from everyone around me and it sucks. I feel no one understands or cares enough to understand me or even a percentage of what I think. I feel I am always getting dismissed and made to be the bad guy in situations where I truly didn't even do anything. I stress about little comments made days ago and I just can't help it. I wish I could explain it better. It's like for example its what, 10:14pm now and I showered and have been laying around since around 9 ish. Within this hour I've stressed about what I want to do with my life, how peopl...

          Romantic relationships can certainly last for teenagers, but they also tend to be less stable and long-lasting than relationships in later life stages. This is because teenagers are still learning about themselves, their preferences, and how to navigate the complexities of a romantic relationship. I t's essential for teenagers to understand that not all romantic relationships are meant to be long-term commitments. It's natural for teenagers to explore different relationships and learn about what they want in a partner. Some relationships may end quickly, while others may last for several months or even years.      Factors that can influence the longevity of a romantic relationship in teenagers include communication skills, emotional maturity, shared interests and values, and the ability to work through conflicts in a constructive way. It's important for teenagers to approach relationships with a sense of respect, honesty, and open c...